"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; We are spiritual beings having a human experience." - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
"The Dude Abides." - Jeff Lebowski
Before we begin, I would like to point out that although the sidebar of this site indicates that this is my first blog, I have, in fact, posted here before. However, upon reading what I posted, I realized that the world in general, and myself in particular, would benefit from those blogs never being seen by other people's eyes. They were written by an angry, bitter, miserable soul... and I am proud to say he has been laid to rest. From his ashes comes the person you see before you: a happier, well-adjusted quirky individual who over the past five years has walked through the flames and lived to tell about it. Sure, I may have the scars, but I don't bother hiding them; instead, I use them as reminders of what I've been through and how lucky I am to be standing here today. They remind me that the lessons of my past are the foundation upon which I construct my future, and that provides me the balance I need to move forward on my journey...
Okay, enough preaching, onto other business...
The following thoughts were first developed a month ago, but for reasons that will become more apparent as you read along, I'm choosing now to expand upon them.
About four weeks ago, someone had asked me a simple question:
"Aren't you proud to be an American?"
The normal autonomic response to this question should be "Yes", "Of Course", Absolutely", or any other answer leading to an affirmation. At least, that's what I was raised to believe. It's what the parents, the media, the government, the postman, and the old lady in Apartment 4-B would expect you to say. You live here, you have freedoms that people in other parts of the world could not even fathom, and despite the incredible odds against anyone not born into a seven-figure income family, you do have the opportunity to make yourself a success story in virtually whatever walk of life you follow.
This, however, does not make me proud.
Why not, you ask? Well, quite simply, I can't take pride in something I have no control over. I didn't do anything to become an American; I was born into it. Being born into something is not an achievement, it's pure circumstance. I honestly don't understand how someone can be proud of something they had no part in achieving.
The same holds true for race & ethnicity. Whenever I see a "Black Pride" rally, or any other group extolling the virtues of their particular background, I can't help not taking them seriously. I'm of mostly Irish descent, among other European cultures as well, although I most typically think of myself as being Irish by background. As such, I find I have a strong desire to study the culture & traditions of my ancestors, and in fact choose to adorn my home with a variety of Celtic art and decorative items (I even have a Celtic cross & claddagh tattoo on my arm). It makes me happy to be a descendent of such a culturally and spiritually rich people, and I enjoy being able to make reference to this when asked about my background. It's a great thing to be.
But I didn't do anything to be this way. It was a simple matter of heredity that made me Irish. It holds no more significance in my genetic make-up than being right handed or having brown eyes.
These things are not achievements, they are simple chance.
Instead, when I think of things to be proud of, I think of what I've achieved in my life. I'm proud that I've worked hard and finally gotten the opportunities at my job that I've deserved for a while. I'm proud to have shaken the vices of the past that held me back. I'm proud of how I live my life and making the choices I make every day. These are things within the realm of my control, and so I take pride in how I control them. I don't mean to diminish anyone's beliefs, or say that someone is wrong for believing what they believe. I just choose to believe differently.
So, to all who are reading this, I assume it's because you have some interest in what I have to say, and if that's the case I want to make sure you're aware of how I, your crazy musical friend who gets paid to play with trains, views the world around us. I am happy to be an American, I'm happy to be of Irish ancestry, I'm happy I have brown eyes... hell, I'm even happy to be right-handed. I just don't take pride in these things, that's all.
Instead, I'm proud to be Matt. It's an achievement I can hang my hat on.
-MC-
10-9-2011
